I tried acting starting with roles in kids’ musicals and then moved on to more serious productions geared towards adult audiences. It became obvious that blanking out, forgetting lines and ad-libbing were deal breakers. Unfortunately, practice doesn’t always make perfect. Besides, type-casting me as a snooty, self-important blowhard more than once was kind of humbling. My experience on stage, however, gave me a huge appreciation for those who do it well and today I remain an avid theatre-goer.

As a kid, I was the kind every old lady adored. I was quiet, polite and could sit for hours without reprimand in the company of adults. Truth be told, I was coddled and shy. Being silent shielded me from notice and possible embarrassment. It’s ironic how my abilities often gave me a spotlight.

One of my teachers suggested I get into public speaking because I would be good at it. I thought that this was some sort of take-on-a-project-student effort on her part, and dismissed it. But eventually, even I had to admit when we gave speeches in schools, mine were actually pretty good. During my career, I had many opportunities to stand up in front of audiences and make comments and give formal talks. At my retirement party, a member of my staff commented that one of the things about me that had always impressed her was my ability to give a speech at a moment’s notice on any topic under the sun. The shy little guy who still dwells within loves that.

I sang my first solo at a Christmas concert when I was in grade 9: the wise man who brought toddler Jesus the gold. Turns out this boy could sing and sing I did …. weddings, funerals, concerts and festivals. I sang for years and gradually realized that when people said I was great, it was true. 😳

What a great idea to join the community choir: new friends with a passion for singing and lots of concerts to fundraise for community projects and needy folks. We are a grey-headed bunch to be sure with lots of life experience, a mix of good and bad times and the wisdom that tags along with it.

A New Path

Doing the same job you retired from is like eating leftovers. Tasty at first, but then predictably bland. New path: find some fun and maybe fulfilment doing enjoyable things. Joined a community choir, watched cheap Tuesday movies, walked trails by the river and got very busy.

A call from my former employer gave me a short term reprieve from my transition in the form of a series of short-term contracts basically doing what I had pre-retirement, but with reduced expectations and less accountability. Filling their gap also served to fill mine. Temporarily at least.

I remember my first post retirement project: binging Netflix’s Lost series …. 6 seasons and 121 episodes. Didn’t understand the ending, but a finish nonetheless. A series of unspectacular time-fillers followed showcased on social media with posts featuring cupcakes, treadmills, and balcony views.

I’m not saying a chance to reset and repurpose isn’t a good thing. For me, the transition was unexpectedly difficult. My work identity had mascaraded as real self and prioritized its needs for years. After the parties and well wishes, freedom’s glow lasted about two weeks.

Retirement Sucks

Two words that I never thought would fit together: retirement and sucks. But it did. Some days, while I was working, thinking about retirement helped me hang onto sanity. Hang in there, I told myself. One day my time will be my own … completely. Be careful what you wish for.